Open Book Moments: I can still be me…and a mom

This past weekend I was invited to do a fashion show for a designer. I was hesitant to do the show since giving birth. Nerves overtook my emotion for two weeks leading up to the show. I worked out, practiced wearing heels (which is a workout in itself), and tried my best to get my mind in ‘model-mode’ versus ‘mommy-mode’. It was challenging to get my brain back into model-mode and I had never experienced more nervousness before a show. Loved ones said 'not to worry' that it 'will all come back to me' and I’d do great. I half believed them, crossing my fingers, and hoped that I wouldn’t become fashion roadkill. My stomach was knotted and my throat carried a lump the entire car ride. Thankfully, my friend was doing the show with me. She was in the same boat as I with mixed emotions since she also had her son in July. So here we were two mamas stepping out onto the runway for the first time in a year, post baby.
The jitters slowly seemed to fade with every brush of makeup and every curl of hair. We checked out the stage, listened to music, chatted with staff, and soon enough those nerves turned to full-on excitement! We couldn’t wait to dress and we carefully planned a time for me to pump right before hitting the runway. Finally, it was call time. We lined up, waited for the music, and stomped on stage as if we hadn’t missed a beat. After the show, we squealed and high-fived each other like we won a game. For us, it did feel like we won. We overcame our fear and nailed it!

And just like that, two mamas were back doing what they love!

Driving home I thought to myself, I can still be me and a mom! It feels great to be able to continue doing what I love and coming home to my family. The best part of my day/night was walking in on Steve and Bennett all snuggled up sleeping in our bed. This is the life.